Pamela Vanderwoude, "Tips for Scuba Diving in Kelp"

An original flash fiction short story on Common Measure

Tips for Scuba Diving in Kelp

The bedroom is always under water. Dark, fathomless, shifting in its own currents. Sweetwater holds her breath every time she enters. Things grow like kelp in this room, algae seaweed searching for sunlight on a ceiling that holds only cracks. Clothes spindle upwards on a stationary bike, the dusty game controller has cords that twist like fronds, bills and papers foam and froth over every surface. 

Sweetwater tiptoes into the bed, closes her eyes. Soon the cupboard doors start smashing in the kitchen. She gets out of the bed, makes an effigy of herself from pillows and places it under the duvet. Creeps into the closet. Thinks about the tips she used to know for scuba diving in kelp when she was allowed to do this sport.  

1.     Have a lantern to see in front of you. The closet door is open a crack, the nightlight is on in the master bathroom. Sweetwater can see just enough.

2.     Stay vertical. Sweetwater sits up straighter in the scuba suit she’s created out of the nest of clothes on the floor.  She’s safer sitting upright, able to move faster if she needs to. 

3.     Don’t step into the canopy of kelp. Sweetwater tucks herself up even smaller to avoid the clothes hanging above her head. The hangers might make noise if her head hits them.

4.     Place your hands forward. Sweetwater stretches her hands out, inches from her face, works the pawnshop engagement ring off, tucks it under her breast. 

What else? What else? A click, the bathroom door opens. Light floods in, scalding her in her hidey - hole. He washes his hands first before staring into the bedroom. Sweetwater ducks, holds her breath, peeks out. He’s looking right at the effigy. Maybe she’s already dead. Just doesn’t know it yet.  

5.     Freeze. Sweetwater pulls everything tight. Clenches every muscle and ligament. Squeezes her tongue down. Wills her hair to flatten. The light flicks off. The doorknob clicks. Sweetwater waits. Waits until her tongue unfurls and her muscles synapse back to life. 

6.     Swim single file. Sweetwater crawls back to the bed. Inches in under the covers, pushes the effigy apart until its limbs are gone. Decides what you really need to swim out of kelp. A passport. A phone. A wallet. A knife to cut your way through.